Coaching your Own Football Soccer Child.
5th May 2011

The most common reason a coach starts a youth football team is to provide their own child with a team to play in. Often the new coach would be an ex-footballer, who has served his time in the local leagues and wants to give his child the opportunity to experience playing the game he enjoyed so much.  

However good this is, and it is great that new coaches are prepared to give up their time to create a team; it does pose a potential problem or two.

Favouritism
If your child plays in the team that you coach, other parents in the team will accuse you of favouring your child. They may not tell you directly, but within the touchline whispers, you will undoubtedly be accused of favouritism by one parent or another.

What will not help is that often the parent coach will select their child to be the captain of the team, and also pick his own child to take all of the set pieces and penalties. The coach may also instruct the other players in the team to pass the ball to their child at every opportunity, and if they fail to pass the ball they may be punished by being substituted. You may also find that the parent coach will also call out negatively to the other players for minor mistakes, though accept their own child’s errors.  

The coaches child will also win most of the end of season trophies, not necessarily because of their contribution in the team but because the other players vote for them through fear of losing their place in the team.  

This may appear to be a far-fetched and wide of the mark picture of a parent coach, though it actually is more common than you may realise, and goes on regularly in varying degrees.

Being over tough on the child
On the flip side some parent coaches, though much fewer, will be too hard on their own child, in an attempt not to show favouritism. Their own child would rarely be given the captain’s armband, would always be the first player withdrawn to the subs bench, and is a player who is beratted for making a mistake more than any other.  

Being too tough on a player could be a more sensitive issue, because it may not mean that the parent coach is trying not to favour their own child, but it could be a symptom of problems at home.

Relationship at home
The interesting thing about coaching your own child is that it goes beyond the match and training, and often continues on the journey home and in the house. This could have a negative effect on the normal parent child relationship if it’s not controlled.  

A parent coach must also be wary of discussing team tactics and individuals and their performances while at home in the presence of their child. However trusting you are of your child to not discuss things being said at home, you can be sure that your child will let something slip, and before you know it, you may have another angry parent at your door.  

Coaching your own child always has been the best reason to run a youth football team, though the coach must be aware of the pitfalls before he takes the plunge.

If you enjoyed this article read another:

• Role of the Captain in Football

• Parent Impact on Youth Football

• Why do children play football?

• Soccer Parent - Road Rage

• How to deal with pushy parents